How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
can you sing with all the voices of the mountain? can you paint with al the colors of the windddd
wasted?
im pocohantasssss
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
Being college poor has reached a new low. I am giving up on masturbating so i can save money on toilet paper
drunk enough to think that masterbating in the pool is an awesome idea
It's a bathroom floor kind of morning.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
Nothing says "I mean business" like using a cart at the liquor store.
I feel like I would find myself in so much trouble if I hadn't married my DD.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
OHMYGOD I LITERALLY JUST FINISHED JERKING OFF AND MY MOM BUSTS IN AND HANDS ME A BABY WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON IN MY HOUSE JESUS H CHRIST!
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Randomize
