Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
ive come to realize my hair is a lot like my vagina. i put a bunch of shit in it with no result
i would rather give Shaq a handjob than take this accounting final
found glitter on my cock. thank you for bringing me to that dance recital.
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
Oh trust me, i am. It's like magic, but instead of rabbits and doves its orgasms- He just keeps pulling them out of nowhere.
i just feel like the statute of limitations for admitting i plowed through her car last night was up a couple hours ago
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I'm just saying; the box truck will cost less then dorms or rent, and we can always crash where the party is.
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
I spent the morning naked in her roommates closet because her parents decided to come over after church..
And no one can masturbate with the sound of Bernie's voice in the background
Lmao a dude who just got out of prison said im worth 10 cigarettes in prison...I think that's a compliment
I’m literally naked drinking a beer and I gotta leave in 6 minutes for work lol
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