I wish my penis had an off switch
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I swear to god he's a one man village people.
in the event i get tipsy, my nipples are your responsibility
Going to get a "plan B"urrito
karaoke mosh pit has descended into fisticuffs, send backup
Just found my old bop it. So many drinking game possibilities
Are you still goin to the xmas party?
Yaaaa why?
Jus making sure i will have nice people i know to put a blanket over me when i pass out in the field .
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
He's a Republican and an Ohio State fan idk how far this can go.
Does this mean I have to put a bra on now
What the fuck i just wanna eat my froot loops and sext in peace. Y'all motherfuckers gotta be loud as shit and break my concentration
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
