honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
So it's always a good weekend when you don't get any sleep, try opening a bottle of wine on rocks, and end up needing a tetanus booster for our stupidity... Same thing next weekend?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
I got about 15 snapchats from you with your hand saying "you want cheese sticks" or something like that and one of some weird looking weed
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
You were peeing off the rooftop and told everyone sometimes you just gotta go
is it fucked up if I wear crotchless panties to thanksgiving to make it easier for me to fuck my cousins friend.
God I love you.
He started praying immediately after we hooked up, condom on and everything.
My autobiography will be 500 pages of the words "I probably should've thought this through" typed over and over.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
let me just take this time to thank you again for buying pudding.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
