Its not drinking alone if you got Tiger on the Wii.
she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
i sold my breathalizer so i could buy weed
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
My water bill is like twice the normal amount. I need a boyfriend.
Do I even want to know?
I just wanna not walk straight. Is that too much to ask for?
She told me I should be a condom model.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
are you aware you chucked your pizza at a girl's face after the bar last night?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
So basically I really like drugs AND banging cops and it's starting to get complicated
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
Randomize
