I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
you were sleeping on the floor, then you woke up and told me you were not comfy enough. You took the carpet in the bathroom put it in the bath and you slept there.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
I put a toilet paper roll with my number on it by his face... hooking up is not happening
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
I kept having to give myself encouraging advice like, "you know how a path works"
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
I'm going to reward myself for having sex with coffee and a breakfast burrito.
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
