I see lights
Your drunk and in times square. Time to take the 2 train home.
Apparently you make a good broom.
Me and my dog bond so much when im high.
stranger just walked up to the fridge at the party, took the hawaiin punch out, drank it straight from the bottle, looked at everyone who stared in awe and said "im fucking thirsty" and put it back.
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
I would also like to inform you that I can no longer lay on my back because my tailbone is bruised from the nightstand. Good job.
Dude, I had to masturbate just to stay warm. Please pay the gas bill?
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I've got mace and a condom. Ready to roll either way and keeping my pimp hand strong.
I hooked up with a guy that had a beard last night felt like I was building a fucken log cabin
Babe, holding my hair while i blow you doesn't count as being romantic
What, wait. You are not supposed to drink wine out of the bottle?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
