is that paris hilton dressed up as the guy from star trek who hosts reading rainbow
My clean wipe streak was ended today by two enchiladas and a can of refried beans. dammit i should have been more cautious. thanks for all ur encouragement and support.
its not facebook stalking, its market reasearch
you were crying because peter frampton wasnt your dad
Apparently last night drunk me put my phone in a cup of beer to make it "fun scented".
Woke up with eyeliner streaked down my face, glitter all over my bed, and holding half-eaten Jimmy Johns. Plus, my whole family's downstairs for Thanksgiving... Welcome to the shitshow that is my early 20s
my longitudinal study of the long term effects of sloth and alchol-intake is nearly complete.
so you are graduating this semester.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Downloaded the Pocket Penguin app. There are now penguins living in my phone. Technology is wonderful.
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Ok maybe second best. He dated a stripper. Can't compete with that level of hoeness
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
Randomize
