There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
i just used burnetts to get spraypaint off the floor of my dorm lobby
i was way too optimistic last night... got back to my apartment and the porch light was still on, like i'd actually make it all the way home.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
He was in the middle of making out with two girls at once, but then the guy next to me said "I feel like I'm watching Animal Planet" he stopped to give him a high five
i dont know whats weirder. that i told him he stabbed me in my dream or that he told me i wasnt the first girl to tell him theyve been killed by him in a dream
Of course the first guy who sees my nipple piercings is a Catholic from Nebraska who won't do anything but dry hump me.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Cant get off the floor. Need more beer. Send help.
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
did you know that sneaking into a golf course at midnight is a felony? the cop made sure to tell us after she peed on the course and hit on him
Randomize
