Who haven't you slept with?
No one comes to mind.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
if we dont hook up this weekend, im doing both his roommates
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
I wonder what my nutrition professor is going to think when I have to put 21 keystone lights, a bottle of merlot wine, and 5 rum and cokes and 4 shots of tequila on my dietary analysis
Wanna hang out, and by hang out I mean go get plan B... and maybe lunch, but mostly plan b
Also txt me when you take your first dump of the year... I'd like to synchronize if that's at all possible.
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
There has to be a way to make college graduation in Las Vegas different than any other Tuesday in Las Vegas. Strippers? Been there. Getting arrested for public indecency on the strip? Done that.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
Note to self...boner negates all verbal agreements ...got it
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
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