Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
You planned my entire going away party sitting in the bath tub cradling a bottle of Cuervo. You promised me fire jugglers. And a pinata.
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I GOT JUDGED BY A GUY WORKING AT THE LEAST CLASSY STRIP CLUB. Peeing isn't a right, it's a privilege.
You know what's even more awkward then buying plan b from someone who is a member at the gym you work at... When they come in after that day and have that look of recognition
I'm at a gyno in Japan. Safe to say every possible rule of etiquette is about to be broken. Buckle up, motherfuckers.
Someone broke in while we were at the bars, window is shattered but nothing got taken
Noone broke in, matt tried to pull a tyrese and punch through the window... were at the hospital.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I met a gypsy today. She told me my soul animal was an owl and says she will now remember me as "Owl Girl".
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
It's not even noon and I've had 3 people call me a savage, one of them said it in reference to the blow job I gave them. So I guess you could say it's going to be a good weekend
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Randomize
