found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
The last two calls in my phone are dominos and 911. I'm not sure how my night went.
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
It was all fun and games until he noticed the hickey that he hadn't given me...
But did u die
I found an onion in my purse
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I don't think he likes that I'm always sending him pictures of me in my bra but he needs to get it together
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
Randomize
