it seems that i get a boner from just about everything now
so all night Ive been that girl with her tits out @ the bar. I mean I dropped jaws, yo. But in a classy way.
I just found her phone in the quesadilla maker...
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Even my vagina gasped.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
Drinks appeared in front of me. Who am I to deny destiny? And by destiny, I mean free drinks, which appear by magic.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Because at some point last night we decided that shotgunning beers from a paint stick was a good idea
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
I went to my AA meeting last night. My drug dealer is now my counselor.
Im too stoned for my mom to be picking up hitch hikers. Help.
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