I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
P.S. I can't hear my feet
I wish Michael J Fox could read me bedtime stories
He could rock you to sleep
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Just got outta the drunk tank! Happy 21st birthday!
Would you like to partake in getting high as fuck with your best friend and then proceeding to cry over the shit head guys we deal with?
I puked on his mom. Not my proudest moment
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I JUST GOT WOKEN UP TO HIM PISSING ON ME SAYING "IT HAS TO HAVE WATER TO GO TO THE BATHROOM" AND AFTER HE FINISHED HE DIDNT REMEMBER DOING IT
Banged a girl last night wearing nothing but my Team USA Olympic jersey. I think it's safe to say that nut was for America.
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