Just threw up in a trash can by the ATM. Then pulled out money for weed.
you asked a group of latinas stood by the bar to hold a minutes silence for ugly betty getting cancelled. that drunk.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
quit making up holidays to get me to go drinking with you
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
I'm sorry and I love you. One day we're going to live in a whore mansion with our babies and make boys cry.
You were saying you didn't want to go home and insisted that I drop you guys off at your uncles. That's how you ended up sleeping on a porch with two dudes
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
I'm eating an ice cream cone and pooping. Don't know how I'm gonna wipe.
my roommates gone so i can take codeine and sleep naked
Randomize