6:33 AM: I'm drunk at this time of morning.
im marching my happy ass in there and im not leaving until he cheats on his girlfriend!
I dinstinctly remember making out to "I believe I can fly" and waving my arms like a bird to the beat.
At McDonald's last night the guy gave you the wrong kind of McFlurry, so you screamed at him, "YOU MCFUCKED UP."
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All he was doing was sitting in the car, staring. We asked him what was wrong and he just turned, smiled, and said "everything has its own pair of boots"
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
I went to look at my notes for my take home final and all I had written was 'you're on E. You won't remember a damn thing anyway.'
Would be in best interest to sanitize the DVDs
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
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