Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
neither the pictures you took nor my hangover explain why there are skittles in my shoe
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
If I can't get a one-legged man to love me, what the hell chance do I have with a NORMAL guy???
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm hoping that banging a 24 year old 3 times cancels out banging that freshman on Wednesday
theres a note on the fridge that says "guess what i peed in" and a half-full bottle of apple juice front and center. why did you let him in the house?
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
I tried to celebrate Halloween, Thanksgiving, Hannukah, and New Years all in one night.
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Baked out of my mind. Went in the bathroom, a daddy long leg spider and a carpenter ant are battling it out on the floor. I brought my computer with some dubstep.
OMG THE ANT WON
grapes are the best munchies food ever cuz like the juice explodes in my mouth and my mouth gets all relieved of dryness. and the skin of the grape is like the food. and theres so many grapes!
Randomize
