I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
how should i go about explaining the hickey i drunkenly gave myself last night?
I woke up naked this morning there was a baseball bat on the floor the bathroom door knob was removed and the floor was wet. This is why i don't do Tequila shots.
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
he suggested we do it doggy style cuz it was his dead dogs birthday...i had to do it
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
I was about to take him home and fuck his brains out but then the police came and arrested him for the stolen credit card he had been buying me drinks with all night...
It's no shave November. This is our time.
All right, sex is off the menu for you. Now you just get friendship. So I can spend marginally less time being annoyed by you.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Most people would agree that it IS in fact slutty to give someone head for free ice cream.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
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