Is it morally objectionable to repay my debt to society with drug money?
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
hey. who tried to drive me home last night?
not sure. we got lost. what do you mean "tried"?
i'm still in their car. parked on the beach. no one else is here. i have on different pants.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
I don't remember her missing an ear while we were at the bar
just got in my apt...and theres jungle juice here i left from over a month ago..this could be interesting...or deadly
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
The words "me," "sober," and "new years eve" do not go together. Ever.
I just went into a strangers house to have a spoonful of sugar to cure my hiccups, wtf is wrong with me
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
multitasking: i'm now sitting up and smoking my joint.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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