I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
he refuses to go down on me anymore when he's high because he thinks my clit piercing stares at him
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
We owe the rent and you're unemployed...you're in no financial position to flirt with cocaine addiction.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
"Students using Axe body spray to light selves on fire" is a real headline from a real newspaper. WHY AREN'T WE DOING THIS RIGHT NOW?
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
My neighbor asked me to tell you to stop changing in front of their house. Do I even want to know?
No. I heard a cover of "my heart will go on". This is not sanity.
Ive been high since the plane left the ground in Los Angeles and Ive been in Chicago. Right now, Im on a train headed towards downtown to go to an anime convention. At this point, I am just taking life as it comes, furries and all.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Dude. Got a sore throat. Don't know if it's because my body is rejecting Michigan or cause of the bad ass blow job I gave last night
We did hand stuff while watching teenage mutant ninja turtles so I guess you could say it's getting serious
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
Having sex with him is like yoga. I do it in the morning and then can't walk for three days afterwards.
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