why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
i hate that site..its like every vagina you dont wanna see
I just fucked a rockette. This would have been amazing a week ago.
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
they ran out of ice so they are using frozen shrimp in their drinks
i wish i could shrink down to the size of his dick so i could just thank it in person.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
Is there a non-awkward way to tell a girl I work with that she looks just like my favourite pornstar?
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
Just think of your bundle of joy thats on its way. And how hes gunna rip your vagina apart
Die.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
is it too soon to tell him I'm available anytime for Christmas themed pity sex and I'll even wear a Santa hat?
We banged in my car doggy style with my head out the window. The sky was marvelous and I saw a shooting star. Its destiny; we're meant to fuck forever.
Randomize
