There's this guy beside me dancing with this girl with no panties on. When I looked at him he said he's babysitting his bestfriend's girlfriend since he can't come out.
What a good friend
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
Basically as long as the fan is pointed at my vagina i can cool off enough to sleep.
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There's something really beautiful about walk of shaming past the Capitol.
I wish I had a clear image of the dude who was sucking on my tit outside the bar last night
This feels more like a conference of all the people I've fucked in the past year.
So I love answering sex questions in intimate relationships class on a clicker when im sitting next to my cousin..
Randomize
