Midget sex pt 2 tonight
i wish there was an iPhone app that lets you write a TeXt LiKe tHiS
dude...come out of the closet already
it took you forty minutes to realize it was a gay bar.
We had sex in front of Notre Dame Cathedral, but I lost my wallet. God giveth and God taketh away.
I feel like he knows I had a dream about him eating me out in the janitors closet at the holiday party. He's giving me THAT look.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
He played pinball with my ovaries. He won.
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
Do you congratulate someone for having bigger tits, or is that a no no?
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
I just gargled with NyQuil
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
The cl.oudds are foaming a really big pen.Is OMG.
Randomize
