She made a guy cry in the bar. I will have her, oh yes, I will have her..
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
You had sex with him even after he literally described himself as a "coldplay guy"? There's a line you just don't cross. There is a line.
She walked in, looked at the bed, sniffed, sighed, and went to grab her cleaning supplies. I'd say she knows.
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I am going to make your legs soar from cumming so much
Like they're going to fly away?
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
But I swear to god if I'm awkwardly there while you try to have sex with someone again I'm getting high with your dad
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
Now i know i wasnt that drunk... So why are there texts of me volunteering for a nude photo shoot for an art major student?
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Randomize