did you violate me with a mr sketch marker when i passed out? i just peed and wiped purple and it smelled like grape. i need to get to the bottom of this...
my friend asked What a UTI was in front of everyone, letts just say his girlfriend was a lil pissed
and then he said "my sister has the same underwear!" please come get me.
Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
I had no idea a 5'8 girl could fit entirely on her knees in front of the passenger seat of a Sunfire, but I am very happy to now have that knowledge.
I went up to get a drink from the hotel room. And ended up getting arrested in the lobby. Spring break has not been forgiving this year.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I'm never waking up next to someone after sex again. It's alllll downhill from there.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
we talked about the guy being eaten by the anaconda.. Then I proceeded to blow him
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
I'm not sure you count what happened last night as sex.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
Randomize
