Umm I'm too high to move.
Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
You are not answering and I think it is because you spent 80 dollars worth of drinks on you hot cousin.
She had a group on her phone called "great fucks". I was in it. It's almost like making the forbes list
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
Aw c'mon. You have to see if the spinning penis rumor is true.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
Just walked into a random hotel for the free breakfast. How was your night?
I'm pretty sure I did the Macarena with a gay guy while shot gunning a beer
Had a dream that you were held at gun point. But I killed the guy. Then we embraced in the biggest hug while everyone around us clapped... Kinda how I imagine our wedding...
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
Well hell, he's gotta sleep in the bed he's made. Multiple times. For multiple girls I'm sure.
According to the rule of quantum porn mechanics, the mere thought of something kinky causes it to exist. So out there, somewhere, there is already riddler/smurf porn...
Randomize
