I bet he comes in French.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
its 4am and she invited me over to split a 'romantic bowl of frosted flakes'...really dude?...what do you think she's trying to say?...she better not be kidding about the frosted flakes though.
If he breaks up with me, your job is to keep me drunk and make sure I don't sleep with anyone. Ok?
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
Rule number one to being a good adult: don't use your vagina as an icebreaker. Just some wisdom I thought I'd pass down from experience.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
He came on my face and he was genuinely concerned about getting it in my hair. I'm marrying him.
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
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