This is evicking siegelnvs
Im sorry?
This is fucking ridiculous*
I don't think my ego could take a straight man out-cooking me.
so i was sitting on this guys lap, and we were flirting and everything right..well his phone kept ringing, turns out it was his pregnant wife...she had gone into labor..
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
I'm eating cheerios out of the palm of my hand while I pee with the door open. Is this adulthood?
Eight drinks in. Subject is fondling chips before eating them. Intoxicated texting has expanded from best friend to random guy I met in FBLA.
I'll remember. Also, I owe you 200 for a pair of shoes that I carelessly bought to improve my spinal structure, to improve my health and ensure that I love to be 300 years old. Like Adam. Of the bible.
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
I didn't have any choice but to cuddle you. Your hair was stuck on my nipple piercing.
Randomize
