I just remember standing in the shower with you eating chips.
I figured that I'd start organizing the places ive given head. I'll add treehouse right after bandroom
Go forth Daniel, drink, be merry... And meet some hot Asians for your friends to bang
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Every single person in NY is either baking, drinking, or photographing their cat. Reporting live from Instagram.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
When I was sick she came over with Call of Duty, animal crackers and a handjob. Honor says I can't dump her until Easter
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The fact that I can now puke rainbows on snapchat makes my life that much better
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Did you have a good sleep?
if a good sleep includes waking up cuddling a bottle of wine I had a GREAT sleep
I often worry that if I get famous, people from my past will recognize me and start talking to the media
Randomize