i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
there is literally a full grown man stuck between the radiator and her bed. i thought i kicked him out 20 minutes ago but nope we found him
omg I just had an epiphany about why I grew into such a whore....
HAVE YOU EVER NOTICED WHAT THE SPICE GIRLS USED TO WEAR?!? those were my idols, I never stood a chance
Why are there chunks of your hair in everyones pocket?
I decided to mark my territory.
Unlike bears, this weekend is not the #1 threat to America. It is, however, the #1 threat to my liver
I totally gave him head in sync to Beastie Boy's Sabotage playing in the background.
well we called the liquor store to tell them to stay open five more minutes so we could make it and they recognized our voices. I've never been more proud.
I asked my boyfriend if he wanted a bong for his birthday but he instead asked for corndogs
the cheaper the better
i just swapped my iPhone for a happy meal. this is greg btw, the hooker let me borrow her phone
Ever get that feeling that you're the back up booty call and half way through securing the fake date excuse to try to get in your pants, the guy hears back from the original booty call and drops the conversation with no explanation?
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
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