dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
Seeing a catheter being inserted into a penis severely diminished my sex life
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I.V.'s should just be available for purchase at Walmart. God I'm dehydrated.
At second job interview this week. Wearing pants to hide pole dancing bruises. This my life.
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I'm eating a block of cheese like its a sandwich in the tsa line
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
The last thing I remember is being given a cup full of absinthe and deciding I needed to wear my tool belt
You were returned to the hotel by someone wearing a priest costume and carrying knives.
Hi. I have frying pans taped to my feet. I achave to go the hospital, theyre on pretty tight. Can't feel legs bring me juice
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
I just woke up with a cowboy hat on my face and a playboy from the 90s on my chest
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