oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I think I just made patron unclassy I bought limes at a gas station and for salt we are using gas station packets of salt
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She stole my hamster. idk who she was, she just walked in and said she knew Keith so she stayed, drank 6 beers, and then stole Charles.
He stopped in the middle of us having sex and asked "is today Monday?" then went even faster
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
Who ever is in the stall next to me is crying and it sounds like they're doing massive amounts of blow too. Finals for your ass huh.
I'm just gonna use that pot butter as dip for chips. That's fat, American AND stoner!
I was so high the sounds of a cricket drove me out of my home at 4am.... Boo that fucking cricket
No seriously you guys are gonna get arrested
Do me a favor I want you to reach down the front of your pants and underwear and just feel around for a while... if you happen to find your balls then join us
I had a drinkin contest with a person that didnt exsist, fuck withdrawl day
Hold on are you sure that we dont have another roommate?
Yes.
What did the sign say that bob stapled to his ass?
I've made a new rule for socializing in the winter: if it doesn't involve me orgasming or getting drunk I can't make it
it was all good until mid make out when he announced 'i just came'. ...he wasn't joking.
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