Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
She was the most uninteresting drunk I've met
can we change the rule from "no one is ugly after 2 am" to 1130 so i can justify last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
bro your seconds weren't very sloppy last night, is everything ok?
Hello, the Less Drunk that has my sister's phone. I am the Moderately Drunk. I am questioning your Friday activities. Why are you not the More Drunk?
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I lost a whole day of my life. Apparemtly I was using my deodrant as a phone. And is my phone there?
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
You carved your initals into all my vitamins and said "now a small part of me will be in you every morning" before you fell asleep with my thong on your head.
He took a shit in my shoe. A part of me is livid and a part of me is impressed because that’s some real evil genius.
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
Randomize