I bet farrah fawcett is having words with michael jackson in heaven for stealing her thunder
You poured sparks in your panties and NOW you're wondering why you have a UTI?
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
being a part time student has turned me into a full time alcoholic.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
I'm a little nervous about this St. Patty's Day party. Seriously, we're still finding stuff from the Halloween party.
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Fell asleep in the library, woke up because I almost let out a sleep fart. That was close.
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
But seriously, I love you and you are a good person and I'll get you some ecstasy
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
