This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
you tried to do a keg stand and ended up flipping over it and onto the table
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The guy that just projectile vomited over the balcony is now going down to find the pill he just puked up. He said he wasn't about to waste $15.
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
So I found the perfect "Yeah I gained weight since high school but it went to all the right places" outfit for the reunion this weekend.
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
Within the span of 10 minutes, I managed to make a slip 'n slide on his stomach, threatened to pee on him, kneed myself in the eye, and almost fell asleep on the toilet....in that order.
summer in europe = liver of steel
I accept that challenge.
My freshman suitemate just walked into the kitchen to find my fuck buddy making chicken enchiladas without me anywhere to be found. Awkward or awesome?
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
when they cut me off i played the entire Justin Bieber playlist and left for another bar that didn't think i'd had enough to drink
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