Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
how many beers do i need before it is acceptable to sleep with sam
enough that when i make fun of you for it tomorrow you wont even remember it happening
so remember that time i slept over and came home in the morning to realize i left my vibrator next to the faucet for parents and brothers to see? this is worse
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
I'm drinking red wine & feeding anchovies to the dog. I'm really not picky about what kinda of company I'm in.
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
God he's so convenient, drugs, an parties all in one person. He's like the Walmart of delinquency.
There was a time I was reining queen of Sunday funday... And at that same time I also weighed 20 pounds more, had the morale of a spearmint rhino stripper, and woke up most mornings asking more questions than fucking Barbara Walters. I think I just wrote my own epitaph.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
there are not enough nopes in the world for that situation.
that is our friendship pylon, do not lose it
fuck you.
DO NOT LOSE IT
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize
