...so i touched it.
My little sister just found a condom in her bag i borrowed... Happy fourteenth birthday.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Next time we smoke don't let me talk. I just said something and it sounded like I was speaking in hashtag.
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I'm not THAT invested in seeing you to an orgasm
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
I got inside last night via doggy door
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
He's like a sexy bearded lumberjack who likes wine.. I can't lose..
Guy just walked into the bathroom with only socks on and took a 5second shit. It is taking me longer to type this than for him to shit, wash hands, and leave the bathroom. WTF? Still wondering why he only had socks on.
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Tonight’s your last chance for a danger free blowjob.
Randomize
