Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
Do you have a shampoo for semen
Or a time machine
I told him to go down on me and when he did he started crying!! I asked him why and he said my vag looked just like his ex girlfriends!!!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well he's currently spooning the coffee table
So, i took all the condoms from his nightstand, not in the crazy ex way, but in the I paid for them way.
Definitely just said "no homo" to our gay waiter at Cheesecake Factory...our service has steadily declined since.
My mom just covered me while I peed in the street. I love her. i also love parents weekend.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
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