Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I cannot believe we're comparing my vagina to Mary Poppins and a black hole.
Annd you probably wouldn't of fallen down the stairs if you didn't insist on taking 'finale shots'
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
I'm a 23 year old adult who just ordered condoms online from Target because I'm still too embarrassed to buy them in the store.
Nothing better then waking up to multiple snap stories of people doing body shots of tequlia off of you
Randomize
