All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Her vagina smelled like pancake batter. That's all you need to know.
First roommate to find me and dance with me will live. Battle Royale.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
"I'm 95% straight," he says. Cut to him on his knees...by far the most beautiful guy I've ever fucked.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
I had a dream last night that Sam and Dean had to get rid of a murderous ghost haunting an elf on the shelf. I think I'm ready for Christmas to be over.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I ate all your munchie Mac and Cheese cause you left me on the lawn. If you don't want it to happen gain, drag my drunk ass inside next time
I was just told I’m pretty enough to be a catfish. This made me so happy...
Never going back to jail again. Only time in my life I've ever had a wet dream about jerking it...
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