So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
Last night i stole a disco ball from a frat house by pretending i was pregnant.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
Do you think my job would send me for a second drug test if i took a whole pumpkin pie to work for lunch tomorrow?
Just bought a beer belt to complete the Captain America outfit. I will do my part as a hero of America to pass out beer to the good citizens of America.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
I forgot how wholesome of a place a park is when youre not drinking there.
One guy got his nose broke and was playing with it. Then another guy was playing beer pong off his horse.
Just had a serious discussion with my ex-boyfriend about sexy nurse vs. sexy teacher. So score one for friendship I guess.
WHAT IS HAPPENING
A FLOCK OF DICKS IS MIGRATING TOWARDS US.
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
We almost drove away from the bar with a British stranger in our trunk...
I’m appalled by how severely I lower my standards when I’m horny & impaired
i looked at my texts in the morning and saw that i had a full conversation with myself via text thinking it was someone else. i rejected myself
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