I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Ask me how many people I've slept with. Because its changed since I last saw you.
I saw you 20 MINUTES AGO. You need to stop this.
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
Ya I guess he's not a bad roommate. I mean if he wasn't here I would probably be more lazy and pee in bottles and stuff.
Please tell me nicole sent the picture of the ejaculating penis to you too, otherwise I'll feel really awkward
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I JUST HAD PHONE SEX. WHILE TAKING A BATH. FOR AN HOUR. EATING A PLATE OF BURRITOS. TOP THAT SHIT.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
But first time having sex and he went down on me twice?! I'm gonna marry this guy
I'll make sure to include that in my bridesmaid toast
He passed out again after sex. I've hidden all his clothes. There's no way he is sneaking out in the morning this time!
Yea we just broke up
so do we start sexting now or later?
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Randomize