Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
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This is sufficient.
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
We bonded over blowjobs and stories of our childhoods. It was beautiful.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
But it's ok cause then I turned my tequila blanket into a tequila comforter and I felt no pain
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
listen i get youre a daddy dom but that doesnt give you a pass to make dad jokes
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
I woke up at 6:30 in the morning on the A train on 14th street. You wouldn't know anything about that right?
You ripped his router out of the wall and screamed "I have defeated the matrix"
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
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