so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
So I just almost came on my own face I had to dodge it as it was flying by...that was a first
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
you were yelling that somebody needed to take your bra off with such enthusiasm my first thought was that you were on fire.
Who wouldn't want a man who can knock a guy out but also loves the bachelor.
It's the best of both worlds
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
You're a goddess. Probably of destruction and dick jokes, or some shit, but man, lesser bitches wish they could be half as fab.
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
I have post one night stand depression
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
