i forgot beer had calories. that would explain alot.
he fucked my hip out of place.
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
I've decided he is effectively a mouth, hands and cock held together by bad ideas and compliments, and I'm OK with that.
I was hooking up with this girl last night and she's on top of me with "Flux Pavilion - I can't stop" grinding in the background and I thought "Holy shit I'm going to do a lot of Molly this semester."
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
My tits became the mascot for the SAE house last night.
Maybe i don’t have a tell. Maybe wine is my poker face.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
I added our drug dealer to the quickbooks software babe, he is listed under vendor's as an expense category... money management is such a bitch...
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
She woke up, peed in the sink and then passed out again, it's only 2 in the afternoon
Randomize
