real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
dude, I just walked in on your little brother changing clothes...I'm ashamed to say I noticed, but that kid has as MASSIVE cock...
Yeah...we all know. it's the elephant in the room at family gatherings.
that is a frighteningly accurate metaphor for it.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
Does she know that uploading nude photos to photobucket and networking are two different things? You may want to ask.
So when I got her home I realized being a lesbian again isn't like riding a bike...
Jumped in the kebab van and said he was Ultimate MasterChef. Incurred wrath of six angry Turks. I got free chips.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
It's not really that big. Girls just think it feels big. It's a cocktical illusion.
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
Lol yeah. Because I just woke him up to blow him for being hot.
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
theres a girl in the library eating whip cream out of a starbucks cup... only whip cream, im way to high for this shit
I didn't know it was possible and I don't know if I'll ever be able to do it again on my own but he literally fuck me sideways.
Randomize
