Dude, I just had an awesome rave/orgy with like bunch of hot Asian chicks on a cable car. It was like being in a Gwen Stefani video, cept w/o the bad spelling
God, I love San Francisco.
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
The idea of snorting emergen-c actually just crossed my mind.
You crossed every boundary on the boundary spectrum last night. You're like the illegal immigrant of drunk actions. No more holiday drinking for you.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
I just almost said to a customer "P as in Pussy"
No. If I hated you would get none. Then I would eat them all in front of you and laugh at your tears. Although that hasn't been ruled out for entertainment purposes. Nothing purposeful.
can we take a moment to remember my theory on 'your tongue is a snake that lives in your mouth' because we reached a whole new level of high
The zombie version of you bit my friend's hand. No more zombie crawl for you. Not ever.
I had a dream that I got you so wet that you flooded my apartment
Matched with the lumberjack. Here's your wedding invite.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
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