i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
totally watching dr. phil and getting eaten out right now. be jealous.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I could write a book on how to barely get by in community college. I just took an online quiz on my phone, at the bar, 6 minutes before it was due.
I really have to stop waking up in hot tubs on Friday mornings.
This guy keeps going off in the metal detector. When is it appropriate for me to punch him in the throat just in case?
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I'm just gonna stay I'm bed where it is warm and cozy and nobody knows me as the girl that puked on a stripper
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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