Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
walking on campus just saw the exact moment some kids life got ruined
he's on the phone and just starts going "FUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUCCCCCCCCKKKKK", then follows it with "Are you sure your pregnant?"... made my day
I'll just get wasted and start throwing myself at men. Someone's bound to take the bait
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
WHERE THE FUCK'S MY FUCKING RITALIN YOU FUCKING FASCIST?????
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I decided to do drugs in front of her because if anyone can handle the truth it's a ghost
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
NOT ALL OF US HAVE THE HANDS OF GODDAMN ANGELS YOU KNOW
sitting in the prison waiting room in my boyfriends clothes. looooong story.
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