Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
I got it! After our exam we take shots for every question we skipped!!!
I don't wanna die...
dude my 8 year old cousin is allowed to drink wine coolers. as long as its infront of my aunt. wtf
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Hindsight is 20/20. Or a bladder infection.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
As a Chick-Fil-A employee, I think you'd appreciate the visual of me almost accidentally pulling out my wallet with a thong hooked on it as I payed for my waffle fries just now.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
I guess you never know how much of an impact you have on someone until you sleep with their cousin
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
You waddled all the way home with your shoes in a construction cone. I'm glad to call you my Bestfriend.
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