I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
Can you still call it a wet dream if sandwiches were involved?
I think she must be bulimic. I mean, every time I see her I know i want to throw up.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Pavlovs bj experiment 2012. Welcome to the program.
I can feel the judgmental stares of Christians from around the world right now.
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I had a dream last night you were Aladdin. I think due to me watching 6 hours of Disney movies and the fact you told me you were wearing a vest.
Dreams are coming true for both of us.
Woke up this morning naked, wrapped in a bath mat with a wad of singles on the table. I'm calling it a win.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
If I get one more "oh yaaaaa he changed your oil" texts, I'm gonna lose my shit
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
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