As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
Woke up this morning with one boob drawn on to look like the globe. Questionable?
Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
Brandon just fucked that chick! I tried to warn him but T9 said she had "puppy roses" instead of "pussy sores"
Ah I wish I was there to nurse you then clean up your piss-filled water bottles
for some reason the bedside piss missed the water bottle today
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
Well I put her head right through the headboard. Thank god the room was under her name.
Spent the last thirty minutes staring at the wall with Leah. It's definitly moving
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Randomize