Just saw ur first draft of ur suicide note.
You spelled "worthless" wrong.
Dude we got so high last night. I said "watch this" threw a goldfish cracker in the toilet, and laughed my ass off. We watched the dvd menu for 30 minutes too.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
they're using the ping pong table for ping pong. it's weird
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
I gave you a lap dance in a bowling alley... And I was Fine?
It's a delicate game of how much porn can I look at without the other interns noticing.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
Quick, I need a picture of your dick. Don't ask questions, just show me your genitals.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Randomize
