Every time there's an awkward silence a gay baby is born
Only a mothe r could love this liver
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
I just woke up and checked my e-mail, and apparently while drunk I bought a blowtorch. Thought you'd want to know.
Can we fast forward to the part where we get gyros
My dad just passed me a joint.. this is a turning point in my life.
If I die tonight. Just know that chicken I made fuckin ruled. Recipe: Chicken with a shitload oF spice
Just took a shot out of a used mini planter. Might die from the pesticides, but didnt want whoever took all of my shotglasses to think they won.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
Carving a pumpkin in a gay bar at 2am. How did my life get to be this way.
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
I'm having a hard time eating my sandwich knowing how many different buttholes my hands were in last night.
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
