I'm pretty sure "Like A Prayer" will forever remind me of drunk nights & pants down around the ankles
By the way, shout wipes are a gift from god for people that throw up on themselves.
She said she could kiss it, just not put it in her mouth. Because that would be cheating..
His response today determines what state my vagina will be in this weekend.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
The ultimate Father's Day bonding experience: Both getting bailed out of jail by mom for mooning some shithead cop.
No more co-pays for contraceptives. Whoever says Obama is a bad guy has clearly never had a pregnancy scare.
I'm pretty sure you and I ate the entire Keebler elf weed workshop
He just whispered "doors are weird" and then laughed so hard he fell down the stairs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
We are no longer allowed to have pre 4th party week. I woke up with a donut stuck to my face and 'MILF' written in black marker on my stomach.
Mother of the Year
I ran into cvs barefoot with my belt undone and shirt buttoned wrong and didn't even have to ask. The guy working pointed and said "they're back there."
That's how I look going for the pbr.
My mother is a bitch. She just outed me to my dad. He wants to meet you by the way...
We just FaceTimed and I put an Oreo in my vagina for him. Now he has to fly across the globe for me.
We can have bacon on the roof while tanning
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