i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
if i wake u up at 5am tmrw by coming into ur room wearing nothing but my indiana jones hat and purple socks while singing 'courtesy of the red white + blue' will u be pleased or annoyed
keep in mind this isn't open to negotiation, i'm just trying to gauge ur reaction
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
I mean it's a good blow job, but it's not worth the four hour round trip.
I went out to have a smoke, and next thing I know, he's got me bent over a picnic table praying to deities I don't believe in. You should have been there.
That last one reminds me of the time we smoked that foot-long joint and by the time we'd finished we were so stoned we applauded it.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
You asked me if I ever met a talking rock and when I said no, you looked me dead in the eye and said today was my lucky day then you crawled into a ball and started talking...that high.
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