theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
Just wanted to remind you that you literally cut the underwear off a man.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
Im 95% ready to shit behind 711
Where is a good place to buy a New Year's outfit that acknowledges I don't have tits but screams I suck dick like a champ?
walk of shame this morning involved walking through the in-home daycare that she runs while it was full of kids. judgemental little shits. on a plus, got a juice box and a graham cracker for the walk home.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
sometimes i like to lay one the floor and pretend im a carrot.
because he's a firefighter, wouldn't sleeping with him be like saying thank you to the community?
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
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