Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You pulled the fire alarm because you had to shit and there was someone in the bathroom. you said you needed privacy
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
DR UNK TOWN USA
TEAM USA GO AMERICA
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just realized why I have little cuts all over my fingers. There was a broken pint glass in my purse last night.
Sometimes i think i need to stop drinking because i can't afford losing so many panties anymore
If I send Ben a tit pic but I do it while wearing a Tom Brady mask is that funny or creepy
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Things could not have gone more poorly if I had stripped naked and run through the Sahara with sirloins tied to my vagina.
Randomize