okay so using the row boat as a giant snow sled probably wasn't the best idea.
Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
you both peed in the photobooth after the pictures were taken.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
It never makes you rethink your life choices when you're breaking into my apartment at 3 am to take a piss in my kitchen sink?
traded hat for shot of whiskey. lovah yo life. only ADVENTURE NOW. OH GOD IT WENT TO CAPS LOCK
having sex with him is like cage fighting mixed with pilates...the condoms didn't stand a chance...
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
Eric and I just went in the hallway to practice our new handshake in a real life situation at live speeds. That high.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
If you needed to get laid tonight all you had to do was ask
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