do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
he was dropping me off and i told him i had to go to the bathroom and i leaned into kiss him and he asked how i went to the bathroom with a tampon up there... he was amazed that their was a third hole...and wanted me to show him where it was
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
I mean we havent seen each other since december and then bam its cinco de mayo and were having sex under a life guard tower taking tequila shots between each position. no big deal
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
I'm so sick
I would imagine. You did most of your drinking for brazil last night.
That and I think I got food poisoning from sharing nachos with that homeless guy..
You didn't hold all these dicks to become a party planner!
also had sex in his sister's princess style bunk bed.
but you are a princess that one was appropriate.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I just had to explain to my grandma what a reach-around is. Too far..
YOU ATE THE FUCKING GOLDFISH!?
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
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