Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
At least make sure they are 18
Why
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
I just found pizaa roll in my hair. Already been to class today
So hung over, I told one of the candidates she's hired if we can turn the lights off and take a nap instead of doing her interview. I feel like she has potential.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
which guy lost his keys in my bed this weekend?
Don't need my thirties to be known as the decade of "new types of shits from drinking" like last night.
Sorry for yelling at you, I'm just really emotional about missing comicon.
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
Randomize
