try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
i woke up, turned over, and noticed an assortment of knives stuck in my wall. i should prob stop drinking
I really need to find better places to throw up. I would like to be able to use the bathroom sink the next morning for brushing my teeth
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Found you in the bushes with fireworks, a teacup and no shoes. Decided it was a bad time to wake you.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Somehow my family started talking about sex toys at breakfast.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
Randomize
