yeah for some reason your penis didn't fit in my mouth the other day
he pointed at my clit and asked with a confused face, 'whats this thingy??"
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
Just coerced a Santa to buy me a handle. Tis the season.
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
So far we've hooked up on a pool table, on a public bathroom counter and now in a little league baseball dugout. We haven't even made to a house yet.
I'm single as of 11 minutes ago. I was the chick who drunkenly tried to climb into bed with you 2 weeks ago. Wanna make this happen?
Stoned in a petco on a Saturday. I figured out that ferrets can eat themselves out. Just picture it. Never leaving.
He yearns for your heart.
He needs to stop being a pussy about it.
thats all i want out of life, to get high and watch weiner dog races
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
