he pushed my hair back because he said it made me look like kelly kapowski and he told me to call him zach
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
I'm having horrible flashbacks of being groped by Pauly Shore.
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
I was walking back to the dorm and was made fun of for wearing a coat. I'M SORRY I CARE ABOUT MY WELL BEING.
And now you know why we call him Three-Balls Brad
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
I'm too depressed to masturbate. This election is the worst.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
Randomize
