So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
god damn woman. you are like the herpes of drunk texting. you never go away.
My landlord doesn't knock anymore when he shows the apt... So i just had sex in front of a family.
didn't stop?
naw, they were rude, not me.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
Could be my worst decision since the whole 'third degree burn' fiasco.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The only funny part about this situation was this morning when they rounded up all the drunks in the ER, piled us into a minivan, then dropped us all off at our houses.
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
if you just come over, i will entertain you
arguing about the color of your bong does not count as entertainment
So, were they human bite marks at least?
Your guess is as good as mine.
sex on the stairs. not our finest idea.
Just witnessed a man yell "gonna catch a slut!" at himself in the mirror while doing bicep curls at the gym.
I was...perplexed.
Pillow talk?
can't do it. no eye contact either.
Where have you been all my life
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